The Second Deadly Beast

After I was able to overcome the Depression, I thought I'd be free from this prison but I wasn't.

That's when the Anxiety came...The Second Deadly Beast.

Talk about nightmares! What about this one- It is the most horrible feeling...it leaves us without emotional and physical energy...Weak in every way imaginable. How can I describe it better? Well, imagine while you're driving...everything around you starts looking foggy and you can't hear that well...your heart is going 4,000 miles an hour...your feet and hands get icy cold and it's very hard to concentrate on driving and you keep telling yourself that you're fine...all you want is to get home as soon as possible. But it doesn't happen like that-fast enough for you...and when you think you are finally getting there, you get stuck at a red light...Then it gets worse. Now you really are in a state of panic. You start shaking... You don't have control of yourself and people are kind of looking at you because you open the windows trying to get some air. Then you close them and you move and move and move- losing total control and trying not to look like a fool.

It takes total control of you and your mind...the only thing is to get home and feel safe because- Hey it's okay to pass out at home! Sounds funny but in reality it's a feeling of total blackout and if you can survive it with out embarassing yourself - it's a miracle!

Yes, that's the way it is. There were many things that I did and tried to get out of this anxiety...to overcome it. Though it's something that's inside me...I finally found a way to control it...or deal with it as it happens. It's funny because I asked myself "what can be worse than this?"

I've should've never asked.